It’s been over three years since Chris Brown brutally assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009 and yet the 24-year-old pop star refuses to completely erase Brown from her life. She’s already collaborated with him on two new singles earlier this year, whichsent fans into a bitter tirade. So why does Rihanna refuse to sever the ties between her and her former beau?

In the May issue of Elle magazine, the chart-topping “We Found Love” singer finally acknowledges — and sort of explains — why she’s back in contact with her ex, even after all he’s put her through.

“I respect what other people have to say. The bottom line is that everyone thinks differently,” Rihanna tells the mag. “It’s very hard for me to accept, but I get it. People end up wasting their time on the blogs or whatever, ranting away, and that’s all right. I don’t hate them for it.”

But Rihanna is standing firm on her decision to keep Brown in her life — and she’s not going to apologize for it. “Because tomorrow I’m still going to be the same person,” she explains. “I’m still going to do what I want to do.”

In fact, the singer admits that she learned a lot during that dark period of her life — and she’s now much stronger because of it. “It gave me guns,” she says. “I was like, well, f**k. They know more about me than I want them to know. It’s embarrassing. But that was my opening. That was my liberation, my moment of bring it. I wanted people to know who I am. Whatever they take that to be, good or bad, I just want them to know the truth.”

And while she still remains a prominent fixture in the public eye, Rihanna feels freer than ever before. “It’s like, one less skeleton in the closet, one less burden, one less secret; now you know that, so you can say what you want about it. I don’t have anything to hide,” she reasons.